Sex and Relationship Blog

Relationship Secrets

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3/17

  

Moving from Online to Offline Dating 5 Great First Pre-Dates 

If you’ve been chatting with people online, how do you manage meeting in person? Are you concerned about wasting too much time with someone you may not enjoy time with so you spend hours online unable to really experience the person? Online dating can be hit or miss, requiring sifting and sorting through potential people online and then in person.

As you go from online to in person, why not make the most of your efforts with brief get-togethers I like to call a pre-date meeting? A brief meeting allows you to see if there is any connection without investing the whole day or evening with a new acquaintance.

Commit to a one-hour activity, and if you enjoy one another, you can stay longer or ask for another date! 

(Safety tip: Always meet at the place you are going separately. It’s best not to walk or be walked to a vehicle until you get to know each other better to be safer.)

Here are some good icebreaker dates with a low cost of time and money with an easy exit strategy in case things do not work out well.

1. Ice Cream Meet: going to your favorite ice cream shop or creamery is a good opener. The atmosphere is casual, and you can usually find a table for two inside or outside. Try a couple of different flavors and enjoy the experience. Getting to know each others likes and dislikes, and having light conversation is a sweet start.

2. Coffee Talk: Coffee and tea have been the centerpiece for socializing for centuries. Some topics could be asking the other person what they are interested in, discussing travels, where you have been and where you would like to go in the future. This is a light date. 

3. Art or Craft Walk: Enjoying this activity can be a good way to spend an hour walking and talking, looking at a little art and getting some fresh air. 

4. Farmer's Market: Farmer's markets are very trendy right now. Scouting for organic produce, people watching, and tasting some juicy fruit can be a great deal of fun. Sharing some time together with easy breezy conversation is a good way to get to know each other. plus, you can take some fresh groceries to take home with you.

5. Sightseeing Tour: Going on a sight-seeing tour by bus, boat or on foot is one of the ways to get to know each other and your city. Being a tourist in your own town is a great deal of fun. Whether you are seeing historic homes, lush gardens or other sites worth seeing such as the mountains, or other natural wonders is a great way to get to know each other. Tours that are time limited, an hour or so are ideal.

These pre-dates are a great prelude to a longer date or another date. Also, you have an easy escape plan if the person is not for you, or if the chemistry is off. 

Making a small investment of time rather than dragging out an unwanted first date. The other benefit is that a date like this does not create an expectation of a kiss or more intimate activities.

Best of success with your dating experiences. Stay open and playful so you can have more fun!  If you would like more guidance for your love life, contact Dr. Krista Bloom at 754-234-6991. She is a relationship and sexuality expert. 


2/26  

Five Tips on Compatibility: How Do You Know If the Person You Are Dating Is Right for You?

Here are five things to look for when you are dating, so that you can keep your eyes open without getting swept away by chemistry or rushing in too soon:

1. You share common interests: Beginning with an interest in certain sports, activities or hobbies is a great way to connect. It is not necessary to share all of the same interests, but since we tend to spend our free time with our dates and later our mates, it would be grand to find a person who shares (or would like to learn) at least one common activity.

2. You dialogue with a similar mindset: A big factor in whether the two of you will go together depends on your overall thinking and attitudes towards life. As a singles and relationship therapist, it has come to my attention that people who tend to think more optimistically and live in abundance get along much more favorably with those who share their beliefs. At the same time, the pessimists of the world get along famously as well. Mixing and matching in this category usually leads to disaster.

3. You relate in lifestyle: Making important decisions about where and how you will both choose to live is very important. An adventurer is best suited for another adventurer, traveling the globe, camping, etc. At the same time, suburbia is great for some while others really vibe on the hustle of city life. Too many dating couples neglect these discussions about lifestyle, which goes beyond hobbies (though can include them). So if you are getting to know someone, ask about their lifestyle desires.

4. You have compatible relationship goals: Dare to delve into what your ultimate goals are, but of course not on the first date. If this is someone you are seriously considering for relationship material, consider whether or not there is symmetry in your relationship goals. Are you looking for exclusivity, marriage, kids, pets, and other important items? Are the two of you on the same page? These are usually non-negotiable areas which are difficult to get around.

5. There are no deal-breakers in your relationship: Find out what traits, habits, or attitudes are absolute no-no's in your life. List your top 10 and stick to them. Don't waffle on your deal-breakers, because otherwise you are compromising your core values. Focus on your requirements, or deal makers, and stick to those as well.

Remember, your life is your own. The choices you make today and tomorrow will impact your life for days or even years to come. Enjoy the experience of dating, and make it your own. Have fun, and if you dare to be happy and to be in a healthy relationship, then you can be!!!

If you are wondering ready to take the full compatibility quiz I invite you get it here: https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Compatibility-Quiz-Green-Relationship/dp/0979758203
 

   l

2.19 

Ten Tips So You Can Have  A Calmer Conversation Starting Today!
 

Do you ever find yourselves having that same argument about the dishes? The kids? The remote? Sex (or lack thereof)? No matter what the topic, these helpful talking tips are sure to set the stage to bring you and your partner closer to resolution rather than revolution!
1
Set aside time to talk.
Approach gently and set up a mutually convenient, uninterrupted 30 minutes. Add to your calendars so you don't forget!
2
Choose what to work on; only one concern per conversation. It's tempting to pile up your resentments and everything wrong, but this will overwhelm and be ineffective and hurtful. Choose what concerns you most.
3
Write down your thoughts first.  Emotionally charged issues sometimes need our attention to ourselves and why they are disturbing us. Focus on "when _________ happens I feel ________. What I would like from you is:_______
Work it through yourself before you sit down together.
4
Approach your partner gently and calmly. It may help to close your eyes and take 5 deep and slow breaths before you meet.
5
Imagine a win win situation prior to meeting. Write down what that would look and feel like. Stay open to your partner's ideas too once you meet!
6
When you meet, try to be as concise and specific about your concern...e.g.
My main concern is that our credit card spending is so high every month, we are $5,000 in debt we can't pay. I feel overwhelmed. I would like your help solving this together before our debt gets any bigger.
 

This is likely to work much better than "you spend too much money! why are you always going shopping for things you don't need?" (aka the same old argument).
 

 7
Speak calmly and allow time for the other person to hear you. If you find yourself rushing, take a few breaths inbetween
8
Ask youtrpartner what they heard and then if correct, ask for their thoughts and feelings.
9.Really listen. If they are upset too, validate their feelings and that you hear them if you do. If you don't understand, then ask for clarification.
10. Then, brainstorm some possible solutions. Pick the best one ore ones, then follow through. Ask how you can support  each other with your efforts to change. Be gentle and kind but also firm on your agreements. Hope this helps!
If you find you still keep getting stuck, you may find that a relationship expert can help you navigate your relationship for success!
For more relationship secrets, read one or both of  these books: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=bloom%2C+krista+relationship&ref=nb_sb_noss 

Dr. Krista Bloom, PhD, LCSW is  a relationship expert and sex therapist .Ft Lauderdale. To make an appointment call or text754-234-6991
 

 Valentines Day for Him to Spark His Interest in Your Relationship!
1.28  Men may not always love mushy cards and stuff, but they do like to have your love and attention in the ways that please them.  Here are some success tips so you can whip up a winning Valentine's Day for him and you!  Here are a few tips to make his heart sing even if he refuses to admit it directly!
1. Sex coupon for his favorite kind of fun that's fun for you too. Be creative with a fun night in. Print it out or hand write it in his card.
2. Bake his favorite treat. cookies, or some brownies maybe? Remember the way to a man's heart is through his stomach....
3. How about a cool watch or other man gizmo? plan ahead to see what he thinks is cool!
4. A free man cave day certificat eto go hide and watch his favorite sports or nerd shows for the afternoon in his undies without having to shower or talk! Man paradise.
5. Car detail or car wash coupon. Men love their rides so they will enjoy a spa day more for the car even than themselves.
Surely he will appreciate these man gifts and the fact that you paid attention to his interest rather than giving him a romantic gifts that he wouldn't enjoy or use.
So treat him like the King of your heart he deserves. And, if he is the sensitive type, bring on the cheesy romantic gestures.   

 Looking for something fun to do? On 2.2. 19 check out this fun event . Www.healingcouch.com/fun-workshops Dr. Krista Bloom is a relationship and sex therapist in Fort Lauderdale Florida offering journeys to joy in love and life!


1.21.19  5 Good Reasons  Not to Skip Valentine's Day in Your Relationship

 

 Are you tempted to skip Valentine's Day?   That could turn out to be an epic relationship fail!  I've heard many women say that they were upset that their  significant other  either skipped or skimped on Valentine's Day festivities.  In some cases women decided to end a relationship  because the person  was so thoughtless  that they figured this is definitely not a love connection for me!. So,  before you  dismiss the importance of V-Day, you may want to consider these 5 things:
1.  Cheesy Hallmark holiday, or opportunity to show her some love! Most of us love to be loved, right?! so before you diss the day remember it might be important to her. It's a little corny and sweet,  but that's why you love us. So unless she said she definitely hates Valentine's Day for some reason then ask her what she would like to do to not celebrate the Day. LOL.
2. Valentine's Day is one of the very few days when it's cool to be romantic. Bring on the chocolate chocolate chocolate and some really nice flowers for your sweetheart. A carefully picked card also speaks volumes. Treat her like the princess or queen that you both know she is.
3. Plan ahead. There's nothing worse than not being able to get in somewhere because you waited 'til the last minute. Plan to cook her favorite meal or go out to your favorite cozy spot together. It's a great way to ignite that spark! remember you get style points for a sharp outfit and her favorite scent of yours. Yum!
4. it never hurts to add in a nice trinket from her favorite store, or a nicely framed picture of the two of you having fun. Whether Tiffany or Goodwillare her favorite stores, pick our something in advance. Remember to wrap or gift bag it!
5. Remember the personal touch! Holding hands, a long hug, or even a sponaneous dance and dip in the kitchen before going out makes it so much more fun! Remember what you love about her and tell her.
never assume that she knows what you're feeling or what you like about her. even if you told her a hundred times before. Whoever gets tired of compliments? so I hope you have a Happy Valentine's Day that honors your someone special and you at the same time. Even if you need to get out of your comfort zone Mr. or Ms.  Charming, remember: put your best food forward always: she's your love and she's worth it!
looking for something fun to do? On 2.2. 19 check out this fun event . Www.healingcouch.com/fun-workshops Dr. Krista Bloom is a relationship and sex therapist in Fort Lauderdale Florida offering journeys to joy in love and life!
 

Relationship Royal Secret: Prince or Frog? Why You Should Never Forget Her Birthday!

Have you ever wondered what it would like to be a prince for a day? 

Then make her feel like a princess or a queen on her birthday! of the world’s hottest and most talked about couples is Prince Harry and Princess Kate. Recently, they celebrated her Birthday in a big way. But if he forgot, he would have been shown out by a 6-year old at an event who brought her a hand-made card. 

One often overlooked issue that women experience in relationships is not feeling special on their special day. And when they do, they wonder if their handsome prince is really a frog. Sure, you made a nice gesture on Facebook and Instagram, but where are the flowers? Where is the magic? It’s up to you to make her Birthday an amazing day for her, whether you’ve known her for a month or a decade. Shower her with everything she craves and see what living like royalty feels like! 

Here are some princely ideas to elevate her Birthday to National Holiday status:

· Remember her birthday way ahead of time. Put it in your calendar weeks ahead so you end up on her most wanted list, not the dog house. 

· Have some fruit flowers delivered to her work with a sweet message

· Better yet, why don’t you both take the day off and go do something fun?

· Remember the card. We are all suckers for a sweet and carefully picked out card. If you like funny cards, get her two. One romantic, one funny

· Plan ahead for dinner. Make a reservation at her favorite dining spot.

· Make her breakfast. In bed or out, try something a little fun such as homemade waffles with whipped cream and strawberries

· Think of a gift that she would love, not something for you. Perhaps a trinket from her favorite jewelry store (Tiffany anyone?) or a few mani-pedi certificates from her favorite nail shop? 

· Plan an outdoor adventure she would adore. Hiking, biking, horseback, swimming or hot-tubbing, dance class. Whatever her hobbies, offer to go with her. Making a fool of yourself for her makes you very princely!

· Notice her look today. Find something you like today; her outfit, shoes, hair, or her beautiful warm smile. Tell her what you find appealing about her today, or any day for that matter!

· Mind your manners. Put on your most gentle-manly behavior. Pull out her chair, open the doors, ham it up a bit. Treat her like the queen or princess she deserves. 

Remembering special occasions is so important. If not, you may find yourself ghosted, or even worse, unfriended for good. Even if she says it’s no big deal, she’s just being nice. So have fun, live a little, appreciate her and her special day. See if she doesn’t treat you like a royalty in return! 

If your relationship could use a little more fun, communication, or sizzle, call Dr. Krista Bloom for a no-cost initial relationship consultation or to set up a relationship transformation session. Dr. Bloom has been helping others to improve the quality of their conversations and their results for over 20 years. 754-234-6991

   iRelationship Compatibility: How do you know if you are right or wrong for each other?  5 compatibility factors Here are some things to look for when you are dating, so that you can keep your eyes open without getting swept away by chemistry or rushing in too soon:

1. You share common interests: Beginning with an interest in certain sports, activities or hobbies is a great way to connect. It is not necessary to share all of the same interests, but since we tend to spend our free time with our dates and later our mates, it would be grand to find a person who shares (or would like to learn) at least one common activity.

2. You dialogue with a similar mindset: A big factor in whether the two of you will go together depends on your overall thinking and attitudes towards life. As a singles and relationship therapist, it has come to my attention that people who tend to think more optimistically and live in abundance get along much more favorably with those who share their beliefs. At the same time, the pessimists of the world get along famously as well. Mixing and matching in this category usually leads to disaster.

3. You relate in lifestyle: Making important decisions about where and how you will both choose to live is very important. An adventurer is best suited for another adventurer, traveling the globe, camping, etc. At the same time, suburbia is great for some while others really vibe on the hustle of city life. Too many dating couples neglect these discussions about lifestyle, which goes beyond hobbies (though can include them). So if you are getting to know someone, ask about their lifestyle desires.

4. You have compatible relationship goals: Dare to delve into what your ultimate goals are, but of course not on the first date. If this is someone you are seriously considering for relationship material, consider whether or not there is symmetry in your relationship goals. Are you looking for exclusivity, marriage, kids, pets, and other important items? Are the two of you on the same page? These are usually non-negotiable areas which are difficult to get around.

5. There are no deal-breakers in your relationship: Find out what traits, habits, or attitudes are absolute no-no's in your life. List your top 10 and stick to them. Don't waffle on your deal-breakers, because otherwise you are compromising your core values. Focus on your requirements, or deal makers, and stick to those as well.

Remember, your life is your own. The choices you make today and tomorrow will impact your life for days or even years to come. Enjoy the experience of dating, and make it your own. Have fun, and if you dare to be happy and in a healthy relationship, then you will be...


I invite you to click here if you are ready put your relationship to the test: https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Compatibility-Krista-Bloom-Ph-D-ebook/dp/B00B85ENUO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1546615859&sr=8-2&keywords=compatibility+quiz

Sizzling sex secrets

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 2/4

10 Things You Must Know About Sex


Sex in the City renewed our interest in sex.  With playful and whimsical characters and a combination of a star-studded cast and fabulous fashion, Sex in The City was an instant smash.  So what can we learn and try in the real world when it comes to our sex life?  

Here are 10 tips for sexy fun!!!
1

Your largest sex organ is dot-dot-dot drum roll please... Your skin! you have thousands and thousands of nerve endings all over your body and you can enjoy each one of them. Explore whether you prefer a tickle, a rub, or even a slap to heighten your pleasure.

2

 The person behind the curtain: The main driving sex organ is your brain. So much sexuality happens in our minds. Fantasy is such a powerful tool and your sexuality. you can imagine what you like to do sexually and allow yourself to push the boundaries in your mind. Best of all, fantasy is safe,

it's fun and it's all yours. 

3

Each season brings a change of weather! Our sexuality can change and evolve over a lifetime. Who We Are sexually at 18 may change each day , week or decade as we move forward in time. With experience, education, we find new paths to pleasure. it's okay if your interest change and expand over time. Allow yourself to enjoy whatever pleases you. as long as it involves consent between two or more people have fun! 

4

 Being playful can be such an important aspect of sexuality. Allow yourself to experiment a little. Laugh, smile, and have a good time. It doesn't all have to be so serious. Mostly it's good to laugh at yourself. Whether it's the noises that you make or a silly sexy dancing you make up, laughter have fun! 

5

 Safety is always a priority. Knowing your health status as well as knowing what are lower and higher risk activities as well as using barriers such as condoms and dental dams can be essential to keeping yourself healthy so of course you can have more sex. LOL. Also, regular health checks can keep you ready for action!
6

Sex Question: am I normal? The answer is who cares? You like what you like and it's okay to like who and what makes you happy. As a sex therapist I often get this question about normalcy. To me normalcy is irrelevant. So allow yourself to venture into those activities that turn you on!
7
Turn off the electronics if you want to turn up the heat on your sex life. Allow yourself to turn off the TV turn off your cell phone, your tablet in your computer. These aredistractions that take you away from the passion and enjoyment of sex. Reduce coitus interruptus... those phone alerts alone will steal your magical moments.
8
Breathe. The use of your breath can really enhance sexual experience. Weather is holding your breath slowing your quickening your breath play around with your breath at different points in your sexual experiences and see what works best for you.
9

Sex is wonderful for your health. Studies have shown the sexual activity and particularly orgasmic release can boost your immune system, reduce pain and help keep you in shape. These are three very good reasons to enjoy sexual activity regularly.
10

Last but not least, sex is a great way to express love for yourself and or another person. love is one of the highest forms of human expression. it was a gift we give ourselves and each other that enhances our entire existence. 

Hopefully these 10ex tips were helpful and fun for you to read today. Dr Krista Bloom Ph.D, LCSW is a sex therapist and relationship expert in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. check out other information and services on www. healing couch.com

    




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